See you over there!

Ending

My ‘story’ here ends here.

I’m consolidating… and have migrated all my posts here in Rambling On to Meanings and Musings, my other blog on WordPress.

If you don’t already know, I had been running these 2 blogs for close to a year (and contributing to another for more than 6 months).  That makes for a rather busy me.

But most importantly, it is time to re-claim myself, to own my writing. How?  I started Meanings and Musings to explore meanings and this blog, Rambling On, to experiment with writing.  They are one and the same, and so I am combining them.  Perhaps you will see another side of me 😉

I am taking a chance, beginning a (somewhat) new journey, I hope you will join me 🙂

Come over for a visit,  have a wander…see you at Meanings and Musings!

– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

 

And the bully?

As I sit down to write about bullying and to be part of the collective voice of #1000Speak on ‘Buildin1000speak-blankg for Bullying’, I can’t help but ask, “what about the bully?

Let me say this first up – bullying is unacceptable. It is hurtful, it is harming… it has potential long term effects on those involved, including the bully. It can be traumatic.

What constitutes bullying?  It is as much the fear-inducing acts of harassment, violence, coercion, intimidation, as it is about the target’s perception of the acts themselves.  It is a two-way street – what is considered bullying by one, may be perceived by another as a mere ‘pain in the butt’ because bullying is about fear.  Our individual relationship with fear is different.

‘Bullying’ is a behaviour – when we use THE word, IT gives colour, tone, images of certain actions which cumulatively and subjectively become acts of bullying.  The word ‘bully’ also has a certain flavour – when used, IT goes from being a subjective description of a person doing certain acts to an absolute ‘objective’ definition of a person.  Isn’t it usually the case, when we refer to a person as a bully, we see an immovable, unchangeable ‘thing’ called a bully, whatever the essence of that ‘thing’ may be in our minds? When someone calls me a control-freak and often enough, I am looked upon, assessed and seen through the lens of ‘control’.

The theory of reflexivity suggests that we are constructed by our being in the world, that is we are changed by the expectations, norms, rules, technologies etc. of the world we live in, and we also construct the world by being in it.  Our presence – all that we say and do – contributes to change in our world.

So, as we label someone ‘a bully’, are we as part of his world contributing to a process  of solidifying the abhorrent behaviours he has exhibited? Are we somehow creating a certain acceptance that those are the behaviours we expect from her?  Are we giving the impression that that is all we can expect of him, that that is all she is capable of? What becomes of the bully?  When one is labelled a bully and often enough, what is one to become but the label?

I know there is no simplistic model for the bullying phenomenon – no ‘if i change this bit here, then all will be well’.  It is complex.  Though perhaps if we begin by refusing to label a person a bully though condemning the actions, our compassion is a step towards a direction of change, and hopefully a positive one.

What I have said so far by no means undermine the person experiencing bullying.  This is a look at the other side of the equation, and to show some compassion for the actor who has learnt to express his or her anger, hurt, fear, unworthiness etc. through harming others. To show compassion is not to condone, but seeking to understand and to love.

 

We can learn the art of fierce compassion – redefining strength, deconstructing isolation and renewing a sense of community, practicing letting go of rigid us-vs.-them thinking – while cultivating power and clarity in response to difficult situations.                       Sharon Salzberg

 

– FlorenceT

 

As an aside, I cannot resist this video of a 4-year old’s response when she was told she looked ugly.  That’s a ‘high-five’ from me! 🙂

 

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

 

5 Psychological Blocks that Stop Bloggers (and Writers) Going from Good to Great

May I suggest this applies to living life and all that our soul compels us to be… yeah, let me begin with writing!

Lit World Interviews

Hi all:

I was checking through some blogs and found one that I felt spoke to me and I thought I’d share it with you to see if it resonates with you too. The original post was in Problogger and it’s a guest contribution by a psychologist, Dr Alice Boyes. You can read it here. Although the title of the post is: 5 Psychological Blocks that Stop Bloggers Going from Good to Great, I felt those apply to writers in general, and of course, many of us are also bloggers.

X ray photographs of person s skull uid 1171297

To summarise, Dr Boyes mentions five blocks to developing a blogger’s (read writer’s) career:

  1. Imposter Syndrome. You aren’t good enough, you aren’t really a writer, how can you compare with others, who are you trying to fool…This blocks you as you don’t feel you should reach to others whom you view as true… (bloggers, writers, authors…)…

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I wish someone had intervened…

This resonates with me…both as a daughter then a mother.

Living Differently

little princessAbove:  Conventional school made this creative-creature very, very miserable.

Every time I read this story, I get a bit emotional…

Gillian was only eight years old, but her future was already at risk.  Her schoolwork was a disaster, at least as far as her teachers were concerned.  She turned in assignments late, her handwriting was terrible, and she tested poorly.  Not only that, she was a disruption to the entire class, one minute fidgeting noisily, the next staring out of the window, forcing the teacher to stop the class to pull Gillian’s attention back, and the next doing something to disturb the other children around her.  Gillian wasn’t particularly concerned about any of this – she was used to being corrected by authority figures and didn’t really see herself as a difficult child – but the school was very concerned.  This came to a head when the school wrote to…

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#BookWorm @FTThum Review of Letters of Note by @LettersOfNote

Lit World Interviews

February 2015, and I am here (finally!) to share a book which I bought myself for Christmas 2014 – a little self-love J. Yes, it has been a busy January but better late than never because I am compelled.

Title:               Letters of Note: Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience
Compiled:      Shaun Usher
Publisher:       Canongate Books Ltd & Unbound (24 October 2013)
Website:         http://www.lettersofnote.com/ & www.shaunusher.com
ISBN-13:        9781782112235
ISBN-10:        1782112235
Pages: Hardback, 384 pages
Genre: Literary Non-Fiction, Anthology

What’s it about?

This is an anthology of letters from the 17th century to present day written by a myriad of personalities including the likes of Zelda Fitzgerald, Albert Einstein, Mick Jagger and Roald Dahl.

These letters compiled by Shaun Usher were selected from a vast number of online contributions (see website above) consisting of different types of letters ranging from humorous to angry, sentimental…

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